Vivre de
by xXSilentCrysXx
Summary: Eren Jaeger is on the edge, literally. Warnings: Deals with suicidal themes. Title means "Live on."


**So this was kind of a quickly written vent-fic. Deals with some suicidal themes, so be wary if you're easily triggered.**

**This is a one-shot, but I'm working on another much longer Levi x Eren fic.**

* * *

Eren Jaeger, aged nineteen. His body shook with nerves, knuckles white with his deathgrip on the railing. When he left his dorm full of friends, he didn't think he'd end up in this place. He lifted his head to look at the dark winter sky. Void of clouds, the wind biting at his cheeks whilst lashing through his clothes. He didn't dare to glance below him at the frigid water, the current pulling and crashing against the rocks. It started out like any other night. He had gotten a bad grade on one of his college tests, which wasn't anything new to him. In an effort to cheer him up, his friends had gathered around him. The ghost of a smile briefed his lips.

Mikasa mothered him, Armin offered to help him study for the next one. Reiner and Bertolt brought alcohol to warm his emotionally battered insides. Annie was a silent comfort. Ymir and Christa held him regardless of his protests. Sasha and Connie made him laugh, and Jean was well… Jean. But… it wasn't enough. Eren's smile fell as his thoughts swirled downwards. When he left to pick up snacks for their movie night, the bridge seemed to call to him. He wanted so badly to take that final leap, to feel the cold river water consume him. Then the feelings would stop. In brief he registered the lights out of the corner of his viridescent eyes, but it didn't pull his attention away from the striking black waves. It was only when he heard the skid of rubber on the pavement that he dared to pull his gaze from the edge. A sleek black car sat in the middle of the road, the door whipping open as if the wind carried it with ease. An unfamiliar man stepped out of the vehicle. His hair was pure ebony, the underside shorter than the crown. The man's achromatic gaze was centered on him, a passion lit behind those sunken irises. Eren watched as the other male slowly approached, as if he was afraid of startling the boy. "Don't..." the word that broke the silence that had enveloped Eren. Swallowing hard, he stared into the other's fiery gaze. He wasn't sure he could reply even if he wanted to, and opted to tear his attention back to the water below. It was then that he heard the sound of rushed footsteps behind him just as his grip lessened on the railing. Just before he was readying himself to let go, small arms wrapped around his torso. His eyes widened, and he turned his head to look over his shoulder. The stranger had buried his face into Eren's back, and those strong arms held him firmly on the edge. "Tonight is not your night."

Tears that he had been pushing back for so long spilled over, pouring onto his tanned cheeks. He couldn't hope to bite back the sob that escaped his throat, nor fight back as the stranger pulled him back over the railing to safety. Unable to bring himself to meet that intense stare, Eren allowed himself to be led into the parked vehicle. In a daze, he only snapped out of it when he felt a hand on his knee. Looking up to meet the other's ash coloured eyes, he attempted to speak for the first time in the brief time he's interacted with this stranger. "I'm sorry, what?" His voice sounded so unfamiliar to him, void and hoarse. The other gave him a worried look, but repeated his earlier statement.

"Where do you live, kid?" Now in the dim lighting the car offered, Eren allowed himself to study the man's facial features. He had sharp yet sunken eyes, and his soft facial features contrasted harshly against them. The stranger looked small and thin, but he pulled Eren over that railing with no trouble whatsoever. Subconsciously clearing his throat, the younger of the two gave a brief address. The rest of the drive was quiet, yet just as they arrived at their destination, something pulled the college student out of his dismal thoughts.

"It's snowing…" He whispered, looking out the passenger side window. The other's gaze bore into him, Eren could feel it without even looking. Briefly registering the sound of a seatbelt unclicking, he opened the car door and stepped back into the night air. As small white flecks filled his vision, he felt his earlier emotions scream inside of him. Biting them back, he watched as the stranger exited the vehicle as well. "Um… I have a key, I can get it." The other gave him an incredulous look.

"Do you live alone?"

"No, why is that-"

"I just found you standing on the side of a bridge. I want to talk to your housemates." Whatever response he could've spat back, Eren bit it back onto his tongue. Begrudgingly he headed up those concrete steps, his chest feeling heavier and heavier with each inch closer to the door. Before he could pull out his keys, the door was yanked open and familiar arms wrapped around him. Eren learned better than to protest when his adoptive sister embraced him, and let the contact play itself out. Behind her, Armin stood in the doorway with a quizzical expression.

"Eren… what took you so long? Mikasa was about to call the police." The blonde spoke softly, his words sweeter than honey compared to Eren's own thoughts. Stifling back the tears and sobs that threatened to escape, he offered a sad smile. Armin noticed this and stepped closer to the embracing pair. "Eren, are you okay?"

It was then that Mikasa pulled away to look at her brother's face. Biting his bottom lip from shame, he avoided her eye contact. He felt a hand on his right shoulder, and his saviour stepped out from behind his tall frame. Armin and Mikasa turned to look at the new presence, looking quizzically at Eren. Before they could demand an explanation, a calm voice filled the night air. "My name is Levi, may I come in?" There was a moment of hesitation before the blonde stepped aside to let both the former stranger and Eren into their shared home. Shutting the door behind them, Mikasa led the group into the living room.

"Is that Eren? You better have brought the onion rings!" Reiner called out with a friendly laugh, his body occupying a corner of the sofa he shared with Annie and Bertolt. Christa and Ymir were cuddling on a loveseat; leaving Sasha, Connie, and Jean on the floor. Armin cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the group as the movie on the television was paused by whomever was in possession of the remote.

"Everyone, Eren brought a friend." He addressed Levi, who stepped out into everyone's vision. Jean whistled, snapping their attention to him.

"Yeah he did, nice catch Eren." A majority of the group gave him a dubious look, choosing to ignore his commentary and turned back to the stranger.

"Are you all this brat's housemates?" Levi inquired, gesturing to Eren. The brunette was trying his best to make himself look very small, as he knew what was coming. Reiner scratched the back of his neck and took the initiative to answer the question.

"Sort of. Armin and Mikasa live in this apartment with him. Bertolt, Annie and I live next door. Sasha, Connie, and Jean live on the other side of them. Ymir and Christa live upstairs." As he spoke he gestured to those in question. The noirette seemed to accept this answer, nodding with the explanation.

"I see, then may I speak to Mikasa and Armin in private?" He asked, making eye contact with the two as he asked. Armin furrowed his brows, but nodded. Pulling Mikasa away from Eren, they disappeared somewhere into the back of the apartment.

Feeling his face burn in shame, Eren sat down on the floor next to Jean. His anxiety was bouncing in his chest, breathing becoming increasingly shaky. A loud thud in the direction of his bedroom resounded followed by a shout, which didn't bode well. The group's attention turned up to the hallway that led to the rooms. A few minutes of silence passed as everyone waited with bated breath. Eventually, the three emerged back into the living room once more. Armin wandered mindlessly over to Eren and sat next to him, his unfocused gaze burning holes into the carpet. Mikasa, on the other hand, couldn't bring herself to look at the brunette. Levi approached the boy, crouching in front of him. A small piece of paper with neat scribblings on it found its way into Eren's palm. "My business card, I wrote my personal number on the back."

After Mikasa gave a brief thanks and led the older man out the front door, Eren waited for her reaction. But none came. Instead, she merely disappeared into her own bedroom and slammed the door shut. Moments of silence passed before it was Connie who broke the silence. "So… are we not getting snacks?"

* * *

Eren paused just as he was about to head out the door and into the cold, familiar air. Pulling on his coat, he happened to glance at the nearby photo on the end table next to the sofa in the pristine apartment. It was a photo he insisted on taking of Levi and him on their first date, 4 months after they initially met. After a few more mental breakdowns, the older man insisted on Eren seeing his therapist friend. Dr. Hanji was a bit eccentric, but overall managed to help bring the college student out of his rut. He still had off-days, but his doting boyfriend was more than patient with him. A sigh escaped his lips as he ran his hand through his messy brown locks. Mikasa had outright refused to talk to him for a month, and Armin was in shock for a few days after Levi relayed the information about their first meeting to them. Therefore, Eren took the noirette up on his offer, and met with him for coffee every Thursday afternoon after class. After the shock had dissipated, Armin told the rest of the gang in brief about Eren's mental health and the state his now-boyfriend found him in. Once everyone found out, they all insisted on getting some one-on-one time with him in an effort to keep him occupied. His friend's plans had worked, but it was Levi who became his rock.

He looked down at the floor, fiddling with his dress shoes. They had been going strong for a little over two years now, and tonight was the anniversary of the day they had met. He heard an annoyed sigh behind him, and craned his head to acknowledge the shorter man. Levi's scowl was present, as it often is, and that steely gaze pierced his skin. "I don't understand why we're going out tonight. It's fucking cold and snowing." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Because I said so, end of discussion." Eren retorted, embracing the shorter man. Pressing his lips against Levi's, he felt hands pull gently on his coat. Reluctantly pulling himself away, he rested his forehead against the other's, a breathy sigh escaping his mouth. "Later, let's go or we'll be late."

The other nodded, pulling on his own black fleece coat. He watched as his boyfriend opened the door and headed out into the frigid air. Glancing back into the apartment he and Levi shared for the past year, a gentle smile tugged at his lips. Instinctively, his hand wandered towards his coat pocket. His heart beat harder in his chest. With the smile, he turned off the lights. Twiddling the small black box in his fingers, he locked the door behind him; once more entering that familiar biting cold.

**As always, I love feedback on my writings.**


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